Blog #8 - Video and Guidance for RI Schools on Trans and GNC Students - Personal reflection
I found the video to be a great resource for young children to aide in their understanding of pronouns. It keeps things simple while placing emphasis on the fact that using preferred names/pronouns helps others feel respected and comfortable in their own skin / identity. A full exploration and understanding of the ins and outs of gender identity aren't necessary for someone to simply be respectful of others.
I found the little apology at the center to be especially poignant as it brings up the idea that everyone makes mistakes when learning new names/pronouns and how to rectify slip ups. Although it may take some effort and reminding at first for someone to fully use the correct name/pronouns 100% of the time, all trans people are asking for is that little bit of effort.
In the past (and still to a lesser degree today) there has been discourse surrounding the idea that someone is not "trans enough" unless they consistently dress or engage in things that are aligned with their gender. IE an ftm person is not truly a trans man if he likes to wear makeup or dresses in a feminine way. To this end, I loved the statements made about Kelly in the book, discussing how although he may present femininely, he still identifies masculinely.
On a personal level, I have identified as some form of gender non conforming from a young age, about sixth grade, and for a long time I did not allow myself to wear feminine clothes or makeup for fear of seeming too "girly" and only recently over the past few years have I really connected with my femineity. Instead, I have found clothing and makeup to be extremely gender affirming.
At my middle and high schools (Alan Shaun Feinstein and Coventry Public HS), I don't feel that the guidance provided by the state was necessarily followed. in middle school, one of my friends tried to start a GSA and only found success if the club was presented as a general group for equality, being called Coexist Club. In our high school GSA, a few of the adults involved did not respect the preferred names and pronouns of members despite that being just about the bare minimum for such a group. For the years graduation cap and grown colors were determined by someone gender assigned at birth, all afab individuals wore white while all amab individuals had to wear red. After explaining this to my mom, who is extremely supportive and has always been a social justice advocate, as a fellow professional in education she sent a detailed email to the principal and the colors were finally changed to a single combination for all students - an infinitely more inclusive option.
I can relate to the part you brought up about the common mistakes made while using pronouns when I worked with a student who's pronouns were they and I kept saying she. It was the first time using this pronoun and it took time to get it right. However, I made it a point to correct my errors by apologizing and striving to be more mindful.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for sharing your experiences, Soph. At first, it was really heartening to read the guidelines put forth by the state and hope that they were being upheld. But again, it seems like a lack of training and context is the problem. Outrageous that you were not allowed to call the GSA by its proper name, but such a win that your mother (what an ally!) was able to change some minds and you were able to graduate in an inclusive and fair way!
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